Remembering Love

Reminders everywhere

Of something that I once held so dear

Planned my life around

Poured my heart and soul into

The pain is almost unbearable

An aching, nauseating, clenching

I want to run, screaming, flailing against the hurt

And the loss

Instead I sit wrapped in a blue woolen shawl

Itself a reminder, but of the kindness and warmth and love

Of community

I hold it and am held by it, cherishing it, even as I grieve

And navigate the nothingness between no more and not yet

Broken open once again into the fullness of life

And a deeper knowing of love’s own longing to be remembered

As something that is always here and cannot be destroyed.

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