Reminders everywhere
Of something that I once held so dear
Planned my life around
Poured my heart and soul into
The pain is almost unbearable
An aching, nauseating, clenching
I want to run, screaming, flailing against the hurt
And the loss
Instead I sit wrapped in a blue woolen shawl
Itself a reminder, but of the kindness and warmth and love
Of community
I hold it and am held by it, cherishing it, even as I grieve
And navigate the nothingness between no more and not yet
Broken open once again into the fullness of life
And a deeper knowing of love’s own longing to be remembered
As something that is always here and cannot be destroyed.
Holding you in loving kindness, my dear friend.
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