The heaviness of sleep lingers in my head and my limbs
Making it feel impossible to move even as far as my meditation cushion much less beyond the front door
The uplifting rhythm of morning chants proves irresistible
The words of proclamation, intention and celebration
As lifegiving as my own breath
Before I know it my attention is being drawn to the damp chill of February air against my face
And the crunching sound my boots make with each step in the still falling wet snow
The tender knot in my neck and shoulder a reminder that I am still carrying the burden of weeks old hurt and anger
My throat tightens around sounds that I realize are coming from images flashing on a screen
That only I can see
Images that dissolve when I am distracted from the script of I, Me and Mine
By the snowflake that flutters softly against my eyelash before falling to my cheek
Where it melts and mixes with tears
Just as the hard ache in my chest begins to soften and yield
Under the caring gentle warmth of my gaze
And I am once again able to see with my heart
The soft beauty of a pine cone nestled beaneath a blanket of snowflakes that seem to come alive with color as they reflect the sun’s rays
A leaf delicate with age yet no less beautiful
A rock upon which the snow has arranged itself into the shape of a dog
And your heart, as open and tender and easily broken as my own.
4 thoughts on “Seeing with my heart”
Janet, this is so beautiful and honest and transparent. You so lovingly walked me through your process of acknowledging and opening up to your felt sense of emotions. Seeing you be tender with your own heart is inspiring!
Thank you so much! xo
So brave of you to bare your tender heart for all to feel and see. It is only but one of the many reasons I love you.
You are a dear! Thank you! I am slowly learning that there is freedom in vulnerability, in the not being perfect, the not knowing, the having to do it over. I think it might be where true connection and love live too xo
PS Love you too!